Herman Cain catches fish, not using boat fishing

A new report showing Presidential candidate Herman Cain fishing and catching fish has just surfaced. Anonymous witnesses say Mr. Cain stopped his car along the side of the Chattahoochee River near I-285. The witness says Mr. Cain was carrying an unusually long rod-like apparatus and one small box, brown in color. The contents of the box are still unknown, however the witness said that Mr. Cain obviously guarded it with his life, since he never let it get more than two feet away from him at all times.

Mr. Cain was then observed taking out a sharp object from the box and fiddling with the long implement, which is believed to have been a prototype rocket launcher or possibly an Occupy Oakland Flag Burning Kit. Disguised as a fishing pole of course. The witness then said Mr. Cain used the rod to project the sharp, dangerous object into the water with alarming speed and precision.

The witness has told us that Mr. Cain was obviously obsessed with this particular activity, as he soon deployed a Command Center at the location of the test firing.

After sitting for a long while in the Command Center, Mr. Cain reeled in what appeared to be a fish. Or a fish-shaped package of cocaine. Our witness lost sight of Mr. Cain for a few moments during this part of the ordeal when they spent 48 minutes tweeting about the scandal on Twitter.

A second witness claims that they saw Mr. Cain cleaning the fish behind his home. It is still unclear whether or not it was a real fish, or a fish-shaped thermo-nuclear device. Our news team leader, Michael Fallacy then caught Mr. Cain in an ambush interview as he appeared to be eating the device. When confronted, Mr. Cain has this to say: “Hey man, you want some hush puppies and some of this catfish?” We believe this statement was some sort of code for sexual solicitation, but the investigation is ongoing